Teen Beat Juli 1999

Melissas Ratschlagskolume.
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P.O. Box 870, Madison Square Station
New York, NY 10159

Can't Wait for Sweet 16!

Dear Melissa,
I have this problem. I just got a boyfriend, and he's asked me out on a lot of dates. But I'm not allowed to date until I'm 16. I can't talk to my parents about it because there's no way on earth they'll change their minds. I don't want this boy to know, that I can't date until I'm 16, so I lie to him. What should I do? Should I keep lying until I'm 16 in about a year?
Sincerely,
Very Desperate

Dear Very Desperate
Lying to anyone, especially your parents, is not a good idea. Sooner or later, you're going to get caught. Tell this boy, that your parents don't approve of your dating yet, and see what he says. If he's as interested in you as he seems, he might be willing to see you as a friend for another year. You could have him over to your have him over to your house and introduce him to your parents as a friend and see what they say. If he wants more out of your relationship, you'll have to consider whether or not it's worth risking the thrust of your parents so you can date him.


Her Pal's Hogging the Credit

Dear Melissa,
My friend and I share a baby-sitting job. I don't really mind, sharing it. It's just that every time something hard to do happens, she has some stupid excuse to leave. And when a grown-up comes home, she takes the baby from me and takes all the credit. I don't really want to share this job with her-it was mine first, but she decided to take it away. That makes me mad! What should I do?
Sincerely,
Very Angry

Dear Very Angry
Have you ever told your friend how you feel? Don't let her take advantage of you! Be firm and tell her, that you think she's not being fair. Tell her, that when you agreed to share the job with her, you expected that you'd both do equal work, but that you fell it hasn't worked out that way. The next time something hard needs to be done, why not suggest to her that she do it? Don't ask her in a nasty way, just pleasantly suggest to her that since you did the last difficult chore, it's now her turn. Or, if that doesn't work out, you could ask her to find another baby-sitting job! After all, this was your job first. But if you don't think you can do that you should start looking for a new family to baby-sit for.

A Mean Stepdad!

Dear Melissa,
My mom just got married to this man I don't like. He's mean to my sister and me, mostly to my sister. He yells at me and grabs me by the arm really hard. If I tell my mom she won't care. Please help!
Sincerely,
Scared Stiff

Dear Scared Stiff
This is a though situation. You really have to talk with your mom about how you feel. Tell her it would be more effective if he'd tell you what to do and then you'll do it, rather than resorting to yelling and grabbing you. If this doesn't work, try to figure out what it is that makes your mom's husband so mad at you. Does he have to ask you to do something more than once? If he asks you to do something, do it right away and hopefully he won't yell. Remember, he's new to your family and I'm sure it's a big adjustment for everyone involved. However, if this man continues to hurt you for no reason, and your mom won't or can't do anything about it, please talk to a relative or a school counselor about the situation.